I still miss you.
Or rather I miss the idea of you.
The what if of us.
I have scars from the words you told me.
Remains of what I tried to carve out.
A constant reminder of the us that never was.
I have bruises from where you held me.
Marks of being wanted.
Created in the shadows by us.
I have this uneasiness hanging over me.
This fear of your words, too pretty to be true.
I will forget your breath on my neck.
And the touch of your fingers on my ribs.
But darling, tell me this,
how am I to forget the warmth of words breathed out in the dark?
If we are Ash, am I too no more?
You’re breaking my heart,
And I’m so so scared for you.
I’ve seen her turn things I cherish to ashes without a second thought.
You were part of my world. Part of me.
I’m not quite ready to share you yet.
May the agised prayers that have spilled forth from my lips because of her never have to leave yours.
She’s lovely,you see. And I love her so true.
But she destroys unwittingly.
She is an innocent and yet in my life I have seen her wreck storms that would make Poseidon’s hands quiver.
She’s mine too you know. I give her my trust and she knows I would never betray hers.
But all too often I find myself in fear of her. She knows not the power she wields.
May you never have to feel the cold grasp of fear I felt today, hearing you chose,willingly, her company.
I’m so so scared for you.
You’re breaking my heart.