Of assorted teenage ramblings.

Ever had that feeling?

That feeling of losing control,and burning out.
That feeling of wanting more,and having it so close you could touch it?
That disappointment when someone you trust lets you down.
That hurt when someone who’s you’re something says nothing.
That insane moment when it’s so lame it shouldn’t be fun,but it is.
That stupid moment verbal diarrhea descends but it’s okay cause they’re your people.
That confusion where you don’t know what to feel.
That anger at every stupid,inspirational post you ever read,because apparently you’d be insane if you actually did that.
That bitterness that comes from a deep,dark place within, a place you’d deny the existence of.
That fury,and resentment because you know what,sometimes people are self-obsessed dramatists.
That longing of knowing something’s right there and not yours.
That self-doubt because surely it’s not meant to be this way,you probably should give a damn.
The disconcerting gut feeling that you’ll never know if you don’t try.
The succeeding feeling that if the populace believes it won’t work,it probably won’t.
The annoying feeling because it’s your mistake to make,you neither ask for a saviour nor a scape goat.
The realization that at the end of it all, you ended up just like every other teenager out there who has guy troubles,curfews,a friend circle that’s just a mish mash of random people, and above all, is broke.Always.

It’s what this age is about I suppose,Identification and Struggle.

Turns out I’m a damn the consequences kind of person,I’m probably gonna do something damn stupid,and it’s gonna be okay,cause if it goes south at least I’ll know I tried. The not trying is killing me,it goes against me and against everything I believe in and stand for. Whatever it is that awaits me on the other side. Rejection. Disgrace. Humiliation. Maybe-Happiness.Fun. or Flattery if we’re lucky.  Whatever it is I must know. Now I just need to figure out how. 

2 thoughts on “Of assorted teenage ramblings.

  1. dmauldin53 says:

    The teen years are rough, but you learn a lot about life. 🙂

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